Those things just kind of built off each other." Beard started drinking in high school, when she hated her looks and felt unlovable.
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They began a volatile relationship that lasted through the 2004 Athens Olympics.
Beard writes how the couple had "loud screaming mean fights" and she started cutting herself to escape the pain. "I was trying to figure out how to live in a bad relationship." Beard's star eventually eclipsed Neethling's, something she said he couldn't accept even though she was supporting him financially after turning pro.
Along the way, she met and fell for photographer Sacha Brown.
The couple moved in together, where Brown got a startling glimpse of Beard's volatility.
"It started with my parents' divorce, the pressure I put on myself after the `96 Olympics, not dealing with puberty.