No matter how awful a parent might have been, there will still have been moments of tenderness.
We will associate that parent’s character traits – even the worst ones – with love, and consequently be drawn to them.
Women are likely to have unhealthy love relationships due to insecurity: caused by the emotional absence of a father throughout childhood.
The benefits that a woman misses by the emotional absence of a father in her childhood are management of emotions, encouragement of risk taking, competition and more.
At the time, with my tender young heart in shreds and painfully conscious that I needed to rewire my sense of what love looks like, and what a good man is, I took Spinoza’s advice gratefully. I came to understand the mistakes I had made, and why I had made them. A life free of the excitement and tumult of young love was actually incredibly easy.