But reasons like “I knew you hated me doing this, so I did it to teach you a lesson” is not going to be in it (unless they are mimicking). Why would they spend time out of their day to do THAT? They’d have to plan ahead, keep you and how you feel constantly in mind, and then want to spite you. One thing that gets a lot of AS’s in trouble with their loved ones is the need to be alone. If you want to get into a huge fight with an AS intimate, insist on interaction at this point. NT’s happily married to AS’s understand this need for quiet time, especially after socializing.
After a great block party where everyone had a ton of fun, they want to be in their rooms for the rest of the day playing video games, or reading about the French Revolution. No, they don’t want to invite the Flanagan’s back to the house for an evening of charades. Complain about how they never want to socialize (after they’ve spent 4 hours socializing) or how they don’t love you enough because they don’t want to make love. A good reason to love an Aspie is that you will have time to yourself.
Most AS have a hard time predicting what will please their partner, because they can’t take another’s perspective.
To love an Aspie means accepting that you are going to sometimes feel “left out” or “forgotten about.” But not out of spite or malice.
For most people with Asperger’s it’s a day to day challenge to feel safe and understood by neurotypical people.